Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Mr. Fix-It and I were really excited by the idea of not finding out the sex of our baby. We made the decision to be Team Green long before we were pregnant. I blogged about our reasons a while ago.

Here's the interesting part, though. I'm quite sure I wouldn't do it again. I've even used the words "anticlimactic" and "tedious for no good reason". It was completely amazing, don't get me wrong, but also something was missing for me.

In hindsight, I think I would have felt more bonded and connected with our baby knowing if it was a boy or girl. It's not to say that I felt disconnected. It's just that mental picture. Imagining your life with a son or daughter. The moment you meet your baby is phenomenal no matter what; the added surprise of finding out the sex did not make the moment any more powerful. Nothing could. It was the most incredible moment of my life.

When I was pretty far along in the pregnancy, a nurse at my OB's office made a comment about having a little girl. She had my chart in hand, and I was sure she'd seen something. I quickly told her that we weren't finding out and we didn't want to know the sex of the baby. She quickly said she was "just guessing!" and went on with the appointment. I was quite sure she had completely ruined the surprise. But when I left for work that day, all I could think about was having a little girl. It felt like this secret only I knew. As time wore on I convinced myself that she truly hadn't seen anything in my chart. And of course, you know how the story ends. So no surprise was ruined.

I still feel strongly about having gender neutral baby gear to use with future children. And I'm glad I didn't have overwhelming "boy" stuff everywhere. But, I had no intentions of dressing my kid like a neuter either. Little boy clothes wouldn't have killed me.

Next time around, if we are lucky enough to have a next time, I definitely want to find out. If for no other reason than to experience pregnancy both ways. Maybe if we have a third or fourth kid we'll be surprised again. But for now, I hope to have the bond of "knowing". And I like the idea of an additional surprise, another celebration - finding out the sex in a fun way. A cake with pink or blue icing on the inside? It's probably a little tired. But how many times do you get to enjoy a moment like that?

3 comments:

  1. So interesting! If ever we decide to try for number 3, I'm torn on this exact subject. Part of me thinks a surprise is in order, but the planner in me want to know. I think it's awesome you did it the first time around!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I were in your shoes - already having one of each - I'd be a lot more willing to be surprised again. But for a second kid? I NEED TO KNOW! :)

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  2. I have a friend who did it both ways - surprise for the first, found out for #2. She said she actually preferred finding out. When you keep it a surprise, the excitement of the baby's sex gets kind of lost in the general excitement that it's a healthy baby. When you find out beforehand, you get a whole 2nd celebration about the baby's sex. I vote more celebrations, always. :)

    ReplyDelete

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A Therapist and an Engineer take on Marriage, Home Ownership, and Parenthood. One project at a time.

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