Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Disappointment and Distraction

How do you parent amidst a fertility battle? I feel like I'm failing. Failing so terribly.

The phone calls, the appointments, the research. (Also known as fighting with insurance, getting poked and probed, and endless googling.) Then it's the mental distractions, the stress. My fuse is shorter. I'm tired.  

I feel like everyone is getting the worst version of me right now. Today is awful. It's just long, and dark, and painful, and sad. Tomorrow will be better. It has to be. 

11 comments:

  1. One of my best friends is going through the same thing right now. And I know there is nothing that anyone can say that will make you feel better, because you just can't deny the way you feel right now. But I hope it will work out for you and that you can enjoy the goods things in life in the meantime, like your husband, son, family and friends :)

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    1. It will work out in time. It's just getting through the tough stuff. Thank you so much.

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  2. I am so sorry to hear about what you are currently going through. I have been following you since wedding bee days but have neve ever commented on any blog, you just seem so sad and in need of a kind word right now.
    I send you positive thoughts and want you to know I'll be thinking of you and your beautiful little family all the way in cheshire, England.
    Nicola :)

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    1. Thank you so much for your sweet words. Yes, this week has been a trying one. It's so amazing to realize people, across the world, are thinking of you. Thank you for that! xo

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  3. Sending positive thoughts your way. I will likely be joining you on this journey in the near future having dealt with fertility issues with my first and now getting ready to start trying for the second. I imagine it's incredibly challenging, just remember to give yourself a break. It's okay to have rough days, it's okay to be sad for a time. Have those feelings, acknowledge them, process them, and move forward (at least for the moment because fertility stuff is such a rollercoaster). Hang in there!

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    1. Why did I think it would be so easy? We were just so lucky with our first. Good luck to you! It's hard, but incredibly worthwhile.

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  4. I find myself falling into a similar line of thought even though it was a struggle the first time, "the second time will be easier"... if I find myself thinking it'll be easy and it was a struggle the first time I can only imagine that it would be a very easy line of thought to fall into when it wasn't too hard the first time. Thanks for the good luck! Here's hoping we both have some luck coming our way in the near future! :)

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  5. Hi Amanda,

    Like Nicola above I have also been following your blog since your Wedding Bee days but have never commented. I can't offer much, except to send some positive thoughts your way. Know that there are many people thinking of you and your beautiful family, including me in Toronto, Canada!

    xo Krista

    P.S. Have you heard of the podcast "The Longest Shortest Time"? Aside from being a great podcast, the host also has a pretty great Facebook group called "Longest Shortest Time Mamas". There is discussion about all sorts of parenting issues, including those related to infertility. If you're interested, I would totally recommend checking out both the podcast and the group.

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    1. Hi Krista - Thanks so much for you're sweet note and recommendations. I'll definitely check it out!

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