Monday, June 10, 2013

It's not nothing.


On Friday I went to the dentist. If I told you how long it had been since my last appointment...well...it had been a while. (I could give excuses, like switching insurance providers, but really I just hadn't prioritized finding a new dentist.)

The dentist walks in the room. He's young and adorably cute and slightly nervous. He makes small talk. He asks me what I do and if I am working that day. "I'm sure my yoga pants and sneakers scream I'm heading into the office after this" I think to myself. "No clients today" I tell him after previously mentioning that I'm a therapist. He looks a bit confused and then makes a comment about having a day off.

"Actually, I get to enjoy spending the day with my son" I explain. He asks how old he is, and a few other typical oh-you-have-a-baby questions. He reviews my x-rays with me. The hygenist comes in to clean my teeth.

As an aside: For someone who hadn't been to the dentist in over 18 months my teeth looked fantastic. You know, except that I should floss more often.

So then it's time to go and he returns to thank me again for being a new patient. Then he adds, "And enjoy your day of doing nothing!" I pause. Smile. And go on my way.

I spent the walk home kicking myself. Here's the thing: the young adorably cute dentist meant nothing by his comment. I know he wasn't trying to put down the role and value of raising a child. But, in that moment he did. I wasn't hurt, or offended. I genuinely believe it was a thoughtless comment. But I was letting down myself and other parents who work part-time or stay home to raise their children. The mindset that spending a day with a 7 month old is "doing nothing" is just plain inaccurate.

What should I have said back? I'm not entirely sure. I wish I could have encapsulated that a day with a baby makes you a teacher, a nurse, a housekeeper, a playmate, a chef, an organizer, a cuddler, a calmer, a nurturer, a dancer, a singer, and a million other things. My silence was a mistake. Lesson learned.




23 comments:

  1. Thoughtless comment, indeed. As you pointed out, I am sure he meant nothing by it, but it would've been nice to hear, "Have a great day with your son!" instead.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am a housewife and I hate getting comments like this too, I mean for one I would go crazy if I was doing nothing all the time and secondly this is the choice my husband and I have made so he can completely focus on school and start his new career in the medical profession.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ment Zone conducted illegal production exposure, followed by 15 enterprises have ceased production, and the other Michael Kors outlet six have contaminated pretreatment equipment businesses can still produce.In 2014, the pollution problem continues. Michael Kors watch sale September 6, "Beijing News" reported in the Tengger Desert in Inner Mongolia problematic Industrial Michael Kors purses Park to the desert discharge of industrial wastewater.This can not but lead to confusion, Michael Kors wallet multiple exposure in the media, the Tengger Desert pollution than why continue Yong said Michael Kors store the commentator, ostensibly because of the Tengger Desert belong to no man's land, pollution Michael Kors bags of behavior is not easy to be found. But the deep-seated reasons that ultimately michael kor shoes outlet online.com cost or industrial pollution in the Tengger Desert is too low.People's Daily Overseas Network 2014 Michael Kors Comment official website said that the Tengger Desert contaminated background is the industry's westward. michael kors sunglasses purse High energy consumption, high pollution and industrial enterprises have moved westward, while the western Michael Kors outlet store urgent need to promote economic development of

    finally handed over the car michael kors handbags outlet store safely to the other side, the deal was finalized.As for the issue of fetal cheaps michael kors wallets Yang feared could affect new car smell, Chongqing Zhang Yuan MCH obstetrics and gynecology michael kors bags expert co

    ReplyDelete
  4. had no qualms. ��Given what he��s accomplished, we Michael Kors satchel bag should give him five airplanes!�� Ellison argued. He later said, ��It was the perfect thank-you gift for Michael Kors shoes Steve, who had saved Apple and gotten nothing in return.��

    ReplyDelete