Tuesday, February 12, 2013

For The Love Of My Marriage

Oh, unspoken expectations.

So since I'm home with our little boy (I'm sloooowly returning to work), there's been this shift that's occurred in my marriage. Prior to the birth of our son we both worked full-time jobs. Now, Mr. Fix-It works a traditional schedule and I'm transitioning toward part-time-odd-hours-but-primarily-a-SAHM. And for the record, staying home and raising children is MORE than a full-time job. For real. I mean, sure, my "boss" took a 4 hour nap yesterday. But I also haven't slept on my own schedule since...August? Literally at any given moment I'm on call.

I digress...

So, when we both worked outside the home "equally" meal planning (or lack thereof) and housework were joint efforts - 50/50. Now that I'm home, groceries, cleaning, laundry, etc are all mine. I'm not complaining, per se, just observing. It's an unspoken expectation I've placed on myself. (And the hubs doesn't seem too upset.)

The real point of this post is about meal planning, though. I don't care about dinner. Weird? Maybe. By the end of the day, I would be happy to eat a bowl of cereal, some strawberries, and a few bites of cottage cheese. In fact, that's what I ate most nights when I was doing the single girl studio apartment scene. (I was also at my thinnest then. Just saying.) I really have little interest in cooking a whole meal that disappears in 10 minutes. And then clean up. Ugh.

Mr. Fix-It, on the other hand, is pretty rigid about his meals. I think the idea of skipping a meal gives him the shakes. Cereal for dinner? You may as well offer him cardboard. So, pre-baby, on the average night, at about 6:30 we would both blankly look at each other and wonder what to make for dinner. Mr. Fix-It would be annoyed that I didn't care, and I'd be annoyed that "fend for ourselves" wasn't considered a desirable option. It was a frequent source of tension.

Lately I've started doing this crazy thing. I meal plan. On Sunday I decide what we're eating for dinner each night. I make a list of ingredients we need. We grocery shop. I either get dinner started in the late afternoon, or Mr. Fix-It and I cook together once baby-man is asleep.

So, dare I say it? It's actually enjoyable. I no longer feel like a domestic failure and Mr. Fix-It is thrilled that we eat like a normal couple/family. Score one for marital bliss.

29 comments:

  1. Way to go! Dinner is a complicated thing at my home too. I'm pretty happy with the fend for yourself option but lately I've felt in a dinner rut. Thanks for giving me some hope!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Since becoming unemployed from a fulltime job and beginning part time freelancing from home, I've gotten way into meal planning our dinners. This way I can also keep track of what I made when, so I don't repeat too often. I look like an amazing wife, which helps deflect my failings in other areas if domestic maintenance (laundry/taking out the trash... No comment!)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm with you on meal planning and having not wanted to cook much since baby arrived (we didn't want to cook much before either :)). I use plantoeat.com for meal planning and it's awesome (and affordable)! You can import recipes into it, plan them on a calendar and then the best part it that it automatically creates a shopping list for you that you can access on your phone. It's saved me a lot of time, especially with being a mom now (I used it before too).

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love meal planning and one thing to make it even easier is do theme nights if you are getting stuck! I often make it so at least one night a week is soup too which will work for lunches later!

    ReplyDelete
  5. oh girl, I need to introduce you to emeals. Saved my marriage (not kidding, as we had that same source of tension prior to ). It designs meal plans around the size of your family, and where you grocery shop, as it makes meals around what is on sale. It sends you the meal plan, how to prepare it, and includes a shopping list with prices. $5/month, THAT'S IT.

    ReplyDelete
  6. We're pretty much in the fend for yourself zone. I wish we could get our act together and meal plan. When we actually do cook we enjoy it, but it's rare. Once I'm home from work I'm too lazy to think about what to cook let alone actually cook somehting. I need some of your bliss and meal planning skills. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Meal planning is the only way we eat around here. We shift the nights around now and again, but it helps me a ton especially now that my extra time is severely lacking. It has also made a huge difference in our grocery spending!

    ReplyDelete
  8. First of all, before I comment on your post let me just say you're an excellent writer. I don't know if you make any money at writing from home but there are lots of options - reply back if you're interested in any. (isn't that just like a man? - always thinking about how to make money). Anyway ...

    My wife and I raised 4 kids and believe me my respect for motherhood went through the roof when I saw how my wife cared for our kids. The level of commitment it takes is nothing short of amazing. (she had all 4 at home btw, with no medication ... I think I almost needed meds watching)

    Up all hours of the night, perpetual cleaning up after them, carrying one on the hip while fixing meals, etc. It's something to behold. And yes, I contributed, but nowhere near what she probably would have liked. Something I've always tried to make up for since. In my younger years ALL I cared about was making money, so my thinking was "I'll do my work, you do yours". I know, wrong. Why in the world I'm telling on myself like this I have no idea.

    Anyway, great article. I love your humor and I couldn't agree with you more about slaving for hours for a meal that's gone "in 10 minutes". That kind of slammed the brakes on any interest I had in cooking. Not that it's effected the eating part though. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am laughing hysterically right now because it's as if you just described my life!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hello There. I discovered your weblog using msn. That is
    an extremely well written article. I'll make sure to bookmark it and return to learn extra of your helpful info. Thank you for the post. I'll certainly
    comeback.

    My website; incomeforums.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi there, this weekend is pleasant in support of me, for the reason that this moment i am
    reading this fantastic educational article here at my
    residence.

    my web page ... picking women up

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wonderful blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoo News.
    Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in
    Yahoo News? I've been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Thank you

    Here is my web-site; this site

    ReplyDelete
  13. Awеsome things here. I am veгy ѕatіsfіed to реег your post.
    Thanks sο much anԁ I'm having a look ahead to contact you. Will you please drop me a e-mail?

    Feel free to visit my blog post stock options training

    ReplyDelete
  14. Its like you learn my mind! You seem to know a
    lot approximately this, like you wrote the guide in it or something.
    I feel that you could do with some p.c. to power the
    message house a bit, however other than that, that is great blog.
    An excellent read. I will certainly be back.

    Here is my website ... geolocationsolutions.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. In fact when someone doesn't understand afterward its up to other viewers that they will assist, so here it occurs.

    Here is my web site ... www.angiekinghorn.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. Heya! I'm at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone 3gs! Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the fantastic work!

    My blog post :: dolezaleks.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  17. ment Zone conducted illegal production exposure, followed by 15 enterprises have ceased production, and the other Michael Kors outlet six have contaminated pretreatment equipment businesses can still produce.In 2014, the pollution problem continues. Michael Kors watch sale September 6, "Beijing News" reported in the Tengger Desert in Inner Mongolia problematic Industrial Michael Kors purses Park to the desert discharge of industrial wastewater.This can not but lead to confusion, Michael Kors wallet multiple exposure in the media, the Tengger Desert pollution than why continue Yong said Michael Kors store the commentator, ostensibly because of the Tengger Desert belong to no man's land, pollution Michael Kors bags of behavior is not easy to be found. But the deep-seated reasons that ultimately michael kor shoes outlet online.com cost or industrial pollution in the Tengger Desert is too low.People's Daily Overseas Network 2014 Michael Kors Comment official website said that the Tengger Desert contaminated background is the industry's westward. michael kors sunglasses purse High energy consumption, high pollution and industrial enterprises have moved westward, while the western Michael Kors outlet store urgent need to promote economic development of

    finally handed over the car michael kors handbags outlet store safely to the other side, the deal was finalized.As for the issue of fetal cheaps michael kors wallets Yang feared could affect new car smell, Chongqing Zhang Yuan MCH obstetrics and gynecology michael kors bags expert co

    ReplyDelete