Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Valentine's Day 2012 fell on a Tuesday. Mr. Fix-It is in class Tuesday nights, and we knew we would have the results of a pregnancy test (confirmed via blood work) Friday, February 17. It only made sense to hold off on our Valentine's celebration. Plus, I reasoned that I'd either want to celebrate or drown my sorrows in lots and lots of wine.
February 17 was a night I will always remember as one of the most exciting of my life. The day? Oh lord.
I now understand one of the best purposes of a home pregnancy test. QUICK RESULTS. Going in for a blood test at 7:30am and not receiving results until almost 4pm: torture. But I refused to "cheat". Sure, I could have taken a home test. But a blood test was advised and I knew the results were going to be accurate. Plus, a part of me wanted to keep the hope alive that I might be pregnant for as long as possible.
I scheduled myself for a full morning of clients. I was able to maintain focus, but once 12pm rolled around I was a basket case. I cried no less than 7 times that day, watched for "signs from the universe", and stared blankly at my computer screen for hours. When I finally couldn't take it any longer, I hopped in the car. But then I realized that I couldn't get out of the car because "What if the results came in while standing in line somewhere?!" So, I parked in a Starbucks parking lot. I sat. I texted. I cried. I gchatted. I scrolled through facebook and twitter a hundred times. And then the phone rang. Doctor's office. I'm pretty sure my heart stopped.
I swear the nurse dragged out the news. "Amaaaaaaanda? How are you doinggggg?" Oh god, was she checking my mental state before delivering bad news? I had a hundred thoughts in a second. Clearly she was making sure I wasn't standing on a bridge. "Well, we have the resultsssssss. They just came innnnnnn...." Speak, woman, speak! "So, I'm calling to tell youuuuuuu...that you are pregnant!"
I was frozen, shocked, relieved. I quickly scribbled down my hormone levels and thanked her repeatedly. I hung up the phone and sobbed. Sobbed like a crazy lady. Finally, hands shaking, I called Mr. Fix-It. I guarantee that when he heard my shaky, sobby voice his heart sank. "Honey...." (sniffile, sniffle, cry) "...you're going to be a Daddy". I had the words planned in my head all day. Getting to say them was beyond amazing. I don't even remember what he said in response. I know he was sitting in a cubicle at work, so he couldn't say too much, but he was thrilled. I called my Mom and a few best friends, and then hopped on the highway. I was smiling, daydreaming, laughing, crying, thanking the universe, and trying to let it sink in that I was truly pregnant.
We were having a baby! (No time to power down my work computer!)
I don't remember much else from that night. It was all a blur of happy, ohmigod, this-is-really-happening type moments. Mr. Fix-It and I sat at dinner, enjoyed the most delicious meal, and were almost literally pinching ourselves in excitement.
A Therapist and an Engineer take on Marriage, Home Ownership, and Parenthood. One project at a time.
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