Monday, May 7, 2012

FOUR PERCENT


I believe there is such a thing as a blessing in disguise. When we heard the news, though, "a blessing" was the furthest thing from our mind. Gut-wrenching, painful, "why us?", was more like it.

Several months ago we were told that we had a four percent chance of conceiving a baby naturally.

This information was a blessing. And once we realized it, we could prepare for our future. We could make a plan; we could ready ourselves for a tough road ahead. Most couples try to conceive for a year before receiving a referral to a fertility specialist. All of this information came our way before we even started trying to get pregnant. We were fortunate that a hunch led to a simple blood test which led to a diagnosis, that led to more testing, that led us to the fertility specialist who delivered the hard facts. The same fertility specialist who made our baby a reality. I never knew I could hate and then love a stranger so much.

So the blessing, undoubtedly, was knowledge. Knowledge that spared us from cycle after cycle of pain.

There were times when I could not tell whether infertility was breaking us down or building us up as a couple. The reality is, it did both. We shared some of our darkest, most angry, most vulnerable moments and also found deep strength in sharing our complete dedication to the process and the end result. A baby. OUR baby.

Sparing the exact details of our diagnosis and treatment, I will say that we were also blessed that we got pregnant very quickly. And for that, I couldn't feel more fortunate. It may not have been easy, but it is completely, overwhelmingly, wonderfully worth it.






36 comments:

  1. God had a plan for you guys, so happy for you!!! :D

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  2. According to our RE, we have a 3 percent chance of natural conception. With minimal meds (all we've done so far), 6 percent. The next step will take us up to 10 percent.
    I don't know what my point is in sharing this except that this journey is taking far longer and is costing far more (emotionally and financially) than I ever thought possible.
    I don't know where we go from here ...

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. It must have come as such a relief when you found out you were pregnant! Congrats.

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  5. Oh wow...that's so great is happened for you guys. I understand what you mean about these things both building you up and tearing you down. We have not had an easy time with conceiving (but not nearly as difficult as some people) and at first I felt like it was building us up and bringing us closer together. But then as time continued, we were both becoming more and more frustrated with the process and it felt like at times it was starting to put a wedge between us. My husband is such a "fixer" and he was frustrated he couldn't "fix things", and I just wanted to vent about everything to him.

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  6. @ Lisa: I think the point in sharing is feeling less alone. When we heard 4% I imagined that no one had ever gotten numbers THAT BAD. I knew it wasn't true, but seeing so many friends get pregnant so easily made it seem terribly isolating to be at the other end of the fertility battle.

    @ storiesfromatx: Hang in there! None of it is easy, and fertility issues are extremely trying and emotional no matter what. I'll be thinking of you.

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  7. Congratulations, Amanda! You are so right about what infertility does to a relationship. I absolutely agree 100% with your response to Lisa. Thank you so much for sharing this part of your story.

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  8. Thank you so much for sharing this part of your family's journey. Beautifully said!

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  9. Wow - how amazing. I'm so excited for you and so happy you're going to have a baby!

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  10. I'm so sorry you had to go through tough times already on this journey, we had other difficulties and it was definitely trying but it brought us closer together. And now your pregnant, yay!!!

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  11. *you're, stupid autocorrect.

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  12. I'm so happy for you guys. Thanks for sharing this part of your story.

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  13. I'm sorry that things were difficult, but like you said - it might not have been easy, but it was definitely worth it! So happy for you!

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  14. wow, i can only imagine the roller coaster of emotions that you two went through. i'm so happy about the result.

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  15. I know I am late to the game to comment, but I love that I found your blog. I was told years ago that conceiving would be nearly impossible with my health problems. We have tried for 3 years, including a failed adoption process, and right after it all failed my health started getting better. I lost 50 lbs and and now about 6 weeks with our first. It is unbelievable, even my doctors were a little shocked. Congratulations on your little one! I am so happy for you! I have been down those dark tunnels with my hubs and found the light again, it still feels surreal but I believe that this all happened for a reason and will make it all the more special for us. Best wishes!

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